Friday, February 15, 2008


Today i am in a puttering mood. I've been working on my list (for those of you who don't know, months ago my sister gave me a laminated list of chores to do weekly and monthly) of chores, though my sister has cut me a bit of slack and said not to worry about too much of it. I'm still going through the motions i said, i'm just in the mood.

I spoke to my doctors office and they scheduled me in for Monday, 9.30am. I am always happy to have early appointments, it's better than sitting around all day worrying, as i do. Tuesday i see the doctor regarding my kidneys. I hope they are back to normal so i can resume my chemo...i will keep you posted.

Mother is having a tough day of it today. She's in and out of the bathroom (i promise i will say no more). I gave her some of my Immodium, hopefully it will help. Other than that, she seems to be having an 'okay' day. When she isn't in panic mode, i count that as such a blessing because i find it so hard to deal with. I don't know where all of my patience have gone...perhaps so many years of dealing with her have done away with them. I do feel such guilt though...i am doing the best i can do right now...but i think i should be doing better. I will work on it. Lord knows i am far from perfect...but i guess under the circumstances i don't need to be.

I haven't taken anything out for dinner yet. I have no idea what to have. Having to plan meals and do the cooking and dishes is taking it's toll on me. I am tired of cooking the same old t hings but mother likes the same old things. Tim and i have spent countless amounts of time online looking for recipes i could try. I sent them all to my sister at work and she printed them out and brought them home, only to be told "yuck" by my mother. Sigh.

Tim and i found some great recipes for the slow cooker. It was his idea, suggesting i could put it on in the morning, perhaps even before i go for treatment, then it'd be ready for dinner in the evening. My sister tried one of the recipes one Sunday. It didn't turn out the greatest but it was worth a try...but mother hated it and has barred me from trying any other new recipes. I had such plans, sigh.

Tonight i have to go for groceries. I think i mentioned it in an earlier post. It will be another big shop i think...we are running out of things left and right. I hope i have the energy to go. Right now i am feeling okay but that could easily change. I find myself so tired all of the time, seems all i do is sleep anymore. I am usually awake for a couple of hours and then i need to sleep...and not just a nap but for hours, usually two to three...then awake for a couple and well, you see how it goes. I really am not much help to mother at all, as she keeps on reminding me...i am sorry for that but i can't help it.

Well i had better go finish up my list....then call Tim, he is waiting for me to call him. I hope he feels better today. He had a bad headache last night so the two of us went to bed earlier than we normally do. I can't wait to hear his voice again.

I hope you all have a great weekend...i'll stop by soon to visit you all.

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