Friday, November 28, 2008

Results are in

Wednesday was a day for great news!

First and foremost, the cancer has not spread. Thank God! My doctor said it might have been a shadow on the first test or perhaps it was misread but the second scan was fine, as was the internal and pap test. Whew! I felt i could breathe after that.

In other good news, my blood pressure is much better, it was 140 over 70, so i don't need to be on medication for high blood pressure. Wouldn't have been the end of the world but it was definitely worrisome.

One thing concerning my doctor was the fact that my blood sugar is out of whack. I am diabetic and take a drug called Metformin. I used to take one tablet twice daily...he doubled that. I'll need to be more diligent about it, i confess i am not right now but will strive to improve on that. In January i will go and see the diabetic dietician and see what she can help me with...i know there is plenty of room for improvement.

Two recommendations my doctor made was to get my eyes checked and see a podiatrist. I will do both right after the holidays. Will feel weird seeing a foot doctor (i'll definitely need a pedicure beforehand) but i think it would be for the best.

So that is my news, finally. Tim and i are both very happy. Now i can get back to my neuro-oncologist and go from there....will keep you posted.

Monday, November 17, 2008

No news is good far

Here i am, the wee hours of Sunday/Monday, posting.

I am sorry i haven't posted sooner. Short story long, i didn't make my appointment on Wednesday because i ended up with an infected tooth. Talk about pain...amazing how such a little thing can cause so much pain...but it did. I was put on antibiotics and will call and make a dental appointment as soon as the course of pills is done. I don't think they'll do anything with me until then. All week i've been taking multiple tylenol 3's and oxys. They would dull the pain but i could always tell when they were wearing off...the left side of my face hurt. I am feeling much better but it hasn't totally gone away, yet. It is a broken tooth at the back and i'm thinking perhaps another small piece broke off, exposing a nerve. Will find out more when i finally get to the dentist. Gosh i sort of an aversion to them. I do have fairly nice teeth and do brush and gargle but i'm lazy when it comes to flossing. I know it's one of the first things they'll say...and i'll do whatever it takes if they'll just make sure this pain stays away.

Funny how i have a hard time dealing with the pain of a toothache...(since it really knocked me for a loop) but my battle with cancer wages on and i can deal with that (mostly).

So the wait for the news continues. I tried to get in sooner, say for instance this week but my doctor is away this week so the soonest i could get in was the 26th...another wait. This time, come hell or high water i will make that appointment. I simply must know.

In other news, the more things change (around here) the more they stay the same. Just when i think i had my mom's sights set on assisted living, my sister talked her out of it. Told her it was no place for her and she wouldn't allow her to go. (Gee Sue, thanks for consulting me, the caregiver on that one)...i mean she didn't even ask what i wanted. She simply decided.

I can't think about it right now though...too much going on in my head as is. After i find out, when i know...then i can make decisions for myself. I hope.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Another Sunday night posting

Another Sunday late night and here i am posting. Nothing new to report, i've been doing relatively well...the usual headaches and the constant tiredness is with me but i am getting through each day just fine.

The latest thing around here is my sisters Sues obsession with buying a new electric fireplace for our living room. She is having trouble coming up with ways to finance the idea and has sort of put it on me to come up with a way. Problem is i feel, as a people-pleasing person, that i want to help...but i really can't...i'm really struggling myself for various reasons. Usually when she gets this way, i do manage to find a way to help her but after being burned one too many times, i'm trying to just stay out of it.

My sister Linda is in bad health. She is a nurse but can no longer work as one because she has several health issues preventing that. One of which is her high blood pressure. She is about 12 years older than i am and has smoked all of her life. Though she has been cautioned by her doctor to quit, she is finding it very hard to. I understand. Not that i've ever been a smoker but i can certainly appreciate how difficult it would be...but the thing is she has had several strokes now and i am worried about her. Her latest stroke was last weekend and she just got out of hospital. I will continue to pray for her to get well and find the strength to give up the smoking.

Mother has been unwell the last little while. The problem is, she wont let me make a doctors appointment to take her in to have her seen. She just tells me she can't make it there, she is too weak, etc. Well these days doctors don't do home visits, or at least ours doesn't and so she feels she is going to end up in hospital again. Maybe she will, i don't know. I really think she needs to go into long-term care. I feel like i am just not capable to meet her medical needs. If she was in care, she'd have access to the medical care it seems she needs. She talks about it but she is struggling with it. She has asked me what i think and i've told her i do think it'd be for the best. When she is cranky or mad at me she tells me i don't do a very good job of caring for her. I remind her of that when she asks my thoughts. I love her even though she makes it very difficult but i do think it's time. I am tired and i really believe i need to focus on my health and my future. Does that sound awful. Reading it, it sounds it to me...but i want to get well and get on with my life, my future with Tim and i cannot do that as long as i am responsible for my mother.

When i see my doctor on Wednesday, i intend on talking to him about it. See what our options are and hopefully, with mothers blessing, get the ball rolling.

Speaking of Wednesday, i am nervous...i just want it to come so i get the one point it seemed so far away. I dreaded having to wait and now the day is practically upon me and i'm not ready. I'm trying to remember to think positive but my negative tendencies take over sometimes and i think the worst. Once we have the results, we'll know where to go next...i'll see my neuro-oncologist and go from there.

So til Wednesday i'll just be hanging on....and now i'll pop by your blogs to see what's going on with you.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

More news

What a chilly day it is today. I was out earlier to pick up a few groceries, things i had forgotten when i went to the store yesterday. Brrr, it was cold but the sun was lovely and thankfully warm.

Part of the reason i went again after i'd just been there yesterday, was to go to the local drug store and check my blood pressure, which has been high lately.

You see, the week before this past week i was supposed to see my doctor for a pap test regarding the spot on my ovaries...but had to reschedule that test as my period fast forward to this past Wednesday. I went in for my exam. When the nurse did the test, it was you ladies know, a little uncomfortable but certainly not the end of the world. When she did an internal exam, she said everything felt normal. Whew! That was a glimmer of hope for me...i'll hang onto that until the test results come back. So then she took my blood pressure. It was 186 over 104. Very high. Especially high for me since i've never really had any signs of being high before. Sure there were occasions when i was anxious at various appointments but the readings were never that high.

Long story short, she asked me to go back in a week, to get the results of my tests and bloodwork and to have my bp taken again ( i couldn't get an appointment until the 12th though) and in the meantime, wanted me to go to this drug store as often as i could to see how it is doing. Well i've been twice now and both times it's been high, according to the machine very high, especially for someone with diabetes. Yesterday it was 167 over 87 and today it was 168 over 83. Better than the first reading at the doctors appointment but still quite high.

Needless to say i've done some reading on high blood pressure on the internet and it's quite scary (as if cancer isn't scary enough)....the risks of stroke and heart attack so very high. I'm worried that my doctor didn't put me straight onto some i think i'll call tomorrow and talk to the nurse, tell her the readings that i've had so far and see what they say.

Lately i've been so tired, even more tired than i usually am....but i'm doing better emotionally. Tim is being a wonderful support and my family is trying to be understanding of my need for sleep.

I go back to see my neuro-oncologist as soon as we find out what is happening with the spot on the ovary. This week i have to schedule another life is all about doctors and tests and being prodded and per normal.

Well that's my news for now. I'm keeping busy and Tim and i spend as much time together as we can, when i'm not asleep, etc. Our latest game addiction is to Monopoly on pogo. We gave great fun playing, since we both love the game...and as always ...Tim almost always wins...but i'm working on that.

Dinner is simmering on the stove and it smells sister made a hearty beef stew...and i'm sitting here with a coffee, anxious to get to your blogs to see what's been happening in your world...see you there!