Just a word from me to you

Brrrr...it's chilly as i'm sitting here. It is very nearly 4am and i just got finished playing Monopoly with Tim. Since neither one of us felt good today, this was the first time we'd been together, so we played three games and had some laughs. He's gone to bed now and i'll be heading there too shortly..i just thought i'd blog a bit.

My friend Rich came over on Wednesday. I had invited him over to look at my computer and our new tv. The new tv was hooked up and working but for some reason we couldn't switch it over to the digital box. My sister has it set up so she just gets the basic cable channels so that she can tape on her vcr...but we discovered the problem of the cable box and i knew Rich would be able to solve it. He was to stay for dinner and we were to watch a movie...and he was also going to take a look at my computer. He got here shortly before noon. We had already made plans to go get a few groceries. Mother wanted me to go and get some things to make a cabbage casserole, which i'll make on Sunday....but then i picked up the stuff for dinner that day too...and some other things too. Before we left for the stores, he looked at the tv and decided it needed new wiring. So he toook the wires off the LCD tv in my bedroom and put it on the one in the living room and decided the tv in my room needed HDMI cables. Don't ask me what they are...i just paid for them and asked no questions, since he always knows what he is doing. When we got back he went to work, putting the cables on. That didn't take long at all and before long i had the groceries all put away. Since i've been on chemo this week, having it at home...i got to feel nauseous and ended up being quite sick. Thankfully Rich is understanding and kind of knows the drill. We decided to order and movie on demand from the cable thingie...and began watching that so i could lay down and rest...but i promptly fell asleep, not surprisingly. I'm always tired.

I didn't miss too much of the movie. We watched Run Fatboy Run. Rich explained what i did miss and i perked up for the end of it and enjoyed it quite a bit. I wanted to rent another but i knew i'd never stay awake...besides it was time i needed to start dinner. After dinner, we did dishes and i packed up some leftovers (we had pasta with fresh mozzarella) and he left. He had to go to work the next morning, i was feeling unwell...and my sister wanted the living room back.

When i headed back to the bedroom and mom...she asked me if i'd turned off the closed captioning button (we keep it on at all times because it helps mom enjoy tv since her hearing is going)...i didn't think i had but i checked...nope, it was on. So i tried another channel, with a different program, to see if it was just that particular show that she was watching...nope. It just wasn't working. I couldn't figure it out...i checked the settings over and over. Then mom mentioned something pertinent. It hadn't worked since Rich changed the cables. Uh-oh. I texted Rich since i wasn't sure if he was home yet and he said he didn't think it would be because of the cables. In the end i ended up changing the cables back to the original ones...for some reason the hdmi cables didnt allow for the cc. Do any of you know why that is? Weird.

After he left i slept and slept. As i mentioned earlier, Tim has been under the weather ...so the two of us have spent a lot of time apart, unfortunately. I hope he feels better soon, i miss him terribly.

This afternoon mother had a nosebleed. Not sure what causes them every now and again, i suspect it's the oxygen tube, probably drying out her nose with the constant flow. I had just begun to make lunch for the two of us when it started so i shut it down to try to help her. It took about 45 minutes for us, pinching her nose as hard as she could stand, before it finally stopped. She got herself all uptight and in a fit state but i stayed calm and was able to talk her through it. All she could think of was what if i'd gone out shopping (as we'd talked about the night before)...and she'd been alone.

After it stopped she didn't have an appetite. We were going to have poached eggs but in the end she just had some toast and tea. I had eggs and it was yummy but it didnt stay with me long. Afterwards we both laid down for a nap, a nice long one at that.

I still have tons and i do mean TONS of Christmas shopping to do. I'm hoping to get out either get out tomorrow or Sunday. It's just getting closer and closer and won't get done on its own. I have some ideas for some gifts but the others i will just look around.

Brrrr, i'm really chilly so will close and crawl into my cold bed which i hope will warm up quickly. Hope you all have a great weekend...i'll be around to read y ou all soon!

Toothy news

Well Monday i started chemo again and so far so good. Yes i've been sick and combined with the tooth, in general, been feeling quite miserable at time...but hey, i'm still alive and kicking, right.

Tuesday i went to the dentist. Relatively uneventful appointment. After doing an xray she (the dentist) determined that my tooth is infected and she started me on a new antibiotic. She didn't want to give me anything for the pain, instead said it should start to feel better in three to four days. I am not sure i can last that long with this pain, so tomorrow i will call my doctor and see if i can get some more percocets to tide me over. I go back on December 31 at 8.30am to have a full set of xrays and to have my teeth cleaned. She said it would probably make more sense to extract the tooth rather than do a root canal and since it is at the back of my mouth, i will be able to do just fine without it. Good news to me because i've heard some real horror stories about root canals and even if i hadn't...they just don't sound like fun. Thing is, i haven't had a tooth pulled since i was a child and i cannot remember what it's like. I think it hurt but surely dentistry has come a long way since then. Either way i am looking forward to it being taken care of and looking forward to having some nice clean teeth for the new year.

Other than my chemo and my tooth, not much new happening with me. On Sunday my sister came with me and we went to get groceries. BIG mistake taking her. She has no patience for crowds and part way through shopping she starting telling me to hurry up (have i mentioned how bossy my sister is)...there were things we needed and she kept trying to talk me out of getting them. It got so frustrating i just wanted to tell her to go if she wanted to (which i'm sure she'd have taken me up on) but we were, at that point, pushing two grocery carts and so i needed her help. We got a ton of groceries because we were out of a lot of things and plus she needed a bunch of things for baking...sugar, flour, fine sugar,nuts, coconut, butter, chocolate and butterscotch chips...etc etc. She loves to bake at this time of year. Has made a few batches of shortbread already but she took those to work to give to her boss to take home, apparently she just loves it and i must admit it is quite yummy.

Wednesday my friend Rich is coming over. We are going grocery shopping to pick up some things for dinner and for a cabbage casserole that i am going to make on the weekend. When we get back he'll be doing some work on my computer, as well as readying my other computer so i can send it to Tim. He'll also be checking on the new tv. For some reason i don't think i have it hooked up correctly because i can't switch over to the dvd or digital cable. Hopefully he'll solve those matters and then we can watch a movie. It's his day off from work so i appreciate him coming over.

Tim and i just playing...yep, you got it...Monopoly. I won the last game, hooray for me...i enjoy my wins when they happen...so few and far between. He has gone to bed and i'm having a wave of nauseousness right now so i think i'll close and go to bed.

Are you all ready for Christmas yet?

Monopolizing our time...

Gosh, i woke just a little while ago and ouch, the percocets have worn off. Then again i think i only took one before going to bed (in the wee hours of the morning) so maybe that's why it hurts so bad right now.

I really do need to go for groceries though. We're running out of things and we need meats and things for dinners. Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment with all of the shopping that still needs to be done and not looking forward to Tuesdays dentist appointment...but really trying to just hang in there and deal with it.

I don't know if i've mentioned here but our latest game playing craze is Monopoly....it's like we've forgotten all of the other games we enjoyed and we are addicted. Well i can't speak for Tim but i certainly am. I have always loved playing Monopoly...but no one else in my family ever enjoyed it....so the year i was given it for CHristmas, i think someone played with me...but thereafter it mostly sat on a shelf, until i was older and discovered friends who also enjoyed it. Two of my favourite games are Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit. Both games can last for hours and i love that...the getting together with family or friends or both...to sit around a table and play and enjoy each other's company....so now i get to spend my time with Tim, playing it online (how cool is that) and enjoying his company. Problem is (or maybe it isn't such a problem...no wait, it is!)...he wins like 90% of the time, if not more. He makes all the good deals with the robots we play with...and just beats the pants off of me...i don't know, maybe he just has more of a business acumen and i do not....whatever it is, he's good at this too, much to my chagrin.

Luckily though, i just love spending time with him, playing one of my favourite games...how can it not be fun.

Dental woes

So i was foolish. My tooth started feeling 'better' last week and in a last ditch effort of avoidance, i didn't call the dentist. Wednesday i was in excruciating pain and i finally called the dentist. It's a new dentist to me, it will be my first visit...but they are short one dentist right now so the soonest i could get in is Tuesday at 2.30. My own darn fault, i'll have to wait. She did say she'd put me on the short list to get called in Thursday if they had a cancellation, so i woke early that day and washed my hair and had myself mentally ready to go. They didn't call...but midday i finally called my family doctor to ask for something for the pain. They sent me out some percocets, which didn't arrive until almost 7pm...but as soon as they did i took two. They are helping me get by. They don't totally alleviate the pain but it dulls it. Maybe after i have some more in my system it will work better. I can only hope.

Lesson learned though....don't ignore dental problems.

Otherwise, we are slowly getting ready for Christmas. My sister has begun the baking aspect. We have started a list of things i need to get at the grocery store. We'll be having some family over on Christmas eve and food will be served, so we've been planning on things to have. So far we've decided on cheeses and kielbassa with crackers and pickles, sweet and sour meatballs, a fruit platter and various baked goods. We are trying not to go overboard with food because we don't have a huge fridge so storage is an issue, especially considering we'll have food in for the big dinner on Christmas day. It should be fun, i am really looking forward to it.

Still have all my Christmas shopping to do for mother. I don't mind doing it last minute, it sort of gets me in the Christmas spirit being in the hustle and bustle of the stores. I hope to get it going this weekend, assuming i'm well enough with this darned tooth.

On Monday my sister came home from work and went to turn on the tv in the living room and found out the tv died. At first we thought it was the remote, so i changed the batteries. Nope...wasn't that because i then thought to try turning it on by the button on the front of the tv. That didn't work either. Sheesh. We can't do without a tv in the living room, especially since my sister sleeps there, it is technically her bedroom...so off we went to Sears and in less than an hour she'd bought a new 32inch LCD tv. It was a dream for us to get it home, they are light as feathers practically. It was a real pain to carry the old one down to the garbage room in our building, those older tvs are so heavy and cumbersome but we did it, my sister and i (while my nephew lay in his comfy bed, watching tv...grrrr!) It is a great tv and cost her less than $600...so she was pleased.

Well i'll close this post and run around to all your blogs before i head to bed. It's the wee hours of the morning but i don't think i can sleep ....yet.

Results are in

Wednesday was a day for great news!

First and foremost, the cancer has not spread. Thank God! My doctor said it might have been a shadow on the first test or perhaps it was misread but the second scan was fine, as was the internal and pap test. Whew! I felt i could breathe after that.

In other good news, my blood pressure is much better, it was 140 over 70, so i don't need to be on medication for high blood pressure. Wouldn't have been the end of the world but it was definitely worrisome.

One thing concerning my doctor was the fact that my blood sugar is out of whack. I am diabetic and take a drug called Metformin. I used to take one tablet twice daily...he doubled that. I'll need to be more diligent about it, i confess i am not right now but will strive to improve on that. In January i will go and see the diabetic dietician and see what she can help me with...i know there is plenty of room for improvement.

Two recommendations my doctor made was to get my eyes checked and see a podiatrist. I will do both right after the holidays. Will feel weird seeing a foot doctor (i'll definitely need a pedicure beforehand) but i think it would be for the best.

So that is my news, finally. Tim and i are both very happy. Now i can get back to my neuro-oncologist and go from there....will keep you posted.

No news is good news...so far

Here i am, the wee hours of Sunday/Monday, posting.

I am sorry i haven't posted sooner. Short story long, i didn't make my appointment on Wednesday because i ended up with an infected tooth. Talk about pain...amazing how such a little thing can cause so much pain...but it did. I was put on antibiotics and will call and make a dental appointment as soon as the course of pills is done. I don't think they'll do anything with me until then. All week i've been taking multiple tylenol 3's and oxys. They would dull the pain but i could always tell when they were wearing off...the left side of my face hurt. I am feeling much better but it hasn't totally gone away, yet. It is a broken tooth at the back and i'm thinking perhaps another small piece broke off, exposing a nerve. Will find out more when i finally get to the dentist. Gosh i sort of an aversion to them. I do have fairly nice teeth and do brush and gargle but i'm lazy when it comes to flossing. I know it's one of the first things they'll say...and i'll do whatever it takes if they'll just make sure this pain stays away.

Funny how i have a hard time dealing with the pain of a toothache...(since it really knocked me for a loop) but my battle with cancer wages on and i can deal with that (mostly).

So the wait for the news continues. I tried to get in sooner, say for instance this week but my doctor is away this week so the soonest i could get in was the 26th...another wait. This time, come hell or high water i will make that appointment. I simply must know.

In other news, the more things change (around here) the more they stay the same. Just when i think i had my mom's sights set on assisted living, my sister talked her out of it. Told her it was no place for her and she wouldn't allow her to go. (Gee Sue, thanks for consulting me, the caregiver on that one)...i mean she didn't even ask what i wanted. She simply decided.

I can't think about it right now though...too much going on in my head as is. After i find out, when i know...then i can make decisions for myself. I hope.

Another Sunday night posting

Another Sunday late night and here i am posting. Nothing new to report, i've been doing relatively well...the usual headaches and the constant tiredness is with me but i am getting through each day just fine.

The latest thing around here is my sisters Sues obsession with buying a new electric fireplace for our living room. She is having trouble coming up with ways to finance the idea and has sort of put it on me to come up with a way. Problem is i feel, as a people-pleasing person, that i want to help...but i really can't...i'm really struggling myself for various reasons. Usually when she gets this way, i do manage to find a way to help her but after being burned one too many times, i'm trying to just stay out of it.

My sister Linda is in bad health. She is a nurse but can no longer work as one because she has several health issues preventing that. One of which is her high blood pressure. She is about 12 years older than i am and has smoked all of her life. Though she has been cautioned by her doctor to quit, she is finding it very hard to. I understand. Not that i've ever been a smoker but i can certainly appreciate how difficult it would be...but the thing is she has had several strokes now and i am worried about her. Her latest stroke was last weekend and she just got out of hospital. I will continue to pray for her to get well and find the strength to give up the smoking.

Mother has been unwell the last little while. The problem is, she wont let me make a doctors appointment to take her in to have her seen. She just tells me she can't make it there, she is too weak, etc. Well these days doctors don't do home visits, or at least ours doesn't and so she feels she is going to end up in hospital again. Maybe she will, i don't know. I really think she needs to go into long-term care. I feel like i am just not capable to meet her medical needs. If she was in care, she'd have access to the medical care it seems she needs. She talks about it but she is struggling with it. She has asked me what i think and i've told her i do think it'd be for the best. When she is cranky or mad at me she tells me i don't do a very good job of caring for her. I remind her of that when she asks my thoughts. I love her even though she makes it very difficult but i do think it's time. I am tired and i really believe i need to focus on my health and my future. Does that sound awful. Reading it, it sounds it to me...but i want to get well and get on with my life, my future with Tim and i cannot do that as long as i am responsible for my mother.

When i see my doctor on Wednesday, i intend on talking to him about it. See what our options are and hopefully, with mothers blessing, get the ball rolling.

Speaking of Wednesday, i am nervous...i just want it to come so i get the results...at one point it seemed so far away. I dreaded having to wait and now the day is practically upon me and i'm not ready. I'm trying to remember to think positive but my negative tendencies take over sometimes and i think the worst. Once we have the results, we'll know where to go next...i'll see my neuro-oncologist and go from there.

So til Wednesday i'll just be hanging on....and now i'll pop by your blogs to see what's going on with you.

More news

What a chilly day it is today. I was out earlier to pick up a few groceries, things i had forgotten when i went to the store yesterday. Brrr, it was cold but the sun was lovely and thankfully warm.

Part of the reason i went again after i'd just been there yesterday, was to go to the local drug store and check my blood pressure, which has been high lately.

You see, the week before this past week i was supposed to see my doctor for a pap test regarding the spot on my ovaries...but had to reschedule that test as my period started....so fast forward to this past Wednesday. I went in for my exam. When the nurse did the test, it was fine...as you ladies know, a little uncomfortable but certainly not the end of the world. When she did an internal exam, she said everything felt normal. Whew! That was a glimmer of hope for me...i'll hang onto that until the test results come back. So then she took my blood pressure. It was 186 over 104. Very high. Especially high for me since i've never really had any signs of being high before. Sure there were occasions when i was anxious at various appointments but the readings were never that high.

Long story short, she asked me to go back in a week, to get the results of my tests and bloodwork and to have my bp taken again ( i couldn't get an appointment until the 12th though) and in the meantime, wanted me to go to this drug store as often as i could to see how it is doing. Well i've been twice now and both times it's been high, according to the machine very high, especially for someone with diabetes. Yesterday it was 167 over 87 and today it was 168 over 83. Better than the first reading at the doctors appointment but still quite high.

Needless to say i've done some reading on high blood pressure on the internet and it's quite scary (as if cancer isn't scary enough)....the risks of stroke and heart attack so very high. I'm worried that my doctor didn't put me straight onto some medication...so i think i'll call tomorrow and talk to the nurse, tell her the readings that i've had so far and see what they say.

Lately i've been so tired, even more tired than i usually am....but i'm doing better emotionally. Tim is being a wonderful support and my family is trying to be understanding of my need for sleep.

I go back to see my neuro-oncologist as soon as we find out what is happening with the spot on the ovary. This week i have to schedule another ultra-sound....so life is all about doctors and tests and being prodded and poked...as per normal.

Well that's my news for now. I'm keeping busy and Tim and i spend as much time together as we can, when i'm not asleep, etc. Our latest game addiction is to Monopoly on pogo. We gave great fun playing, since we both love the game...and as always ...Tim almost always wins...but i'm working on that.

Dinner is simmering on the stove and it smells yummy...my sister made a hearty beef stew...and i'm sitting here with a coffee, anxious to get to your blogs to see what's been happening in your world...see you there!